It's official. We have broken up. I'm going to retreat to a corner and be sad for a little while. I have always wonder how much i mean to you. What will you do to make me stay. You didn't try much.

Girls are jealous by nature. A sms to that bitch saying "love u" is enough to kill me. What would you feel if i have texted another guy the same thing and say that it's all just a joke at the end of the day? The frequency that the two of you contacted each other through phone is much more than what we do. Evident from the phone records. What on earth are the two of you talking at wee hours? No wonder i feel neglected.

And which decent girl will be out with guys until 3 or 4am in the morning? A total bitch. It takes two hands to clap. There must be something going on if the two of you are playing along. Or perhaps thick make up and fake eyelashes looks more appealing to you. I won't degrade myself to all these just to get your attention.

I've been loyal and faithful to you. Just in case if you are wondering, there are guys after me and i didn't succumb to the temptation even though i was neglected by you. Why do you have to do that to me? I can't tolerate the fact that you are flirting with another girl even though you are in a relationship with me.

It's just a joke that you messaged her in the night saying that you love her? What the fuck. You swear that you don't feel a thing for her? And what's the point of sending her a message that "my gf says that you are the type of girls i like". The truth is i didn't message you. I told you straight in the face like 2 week ago. It's a pre-empt not to get too close to her because you have a history. And this fucking "love u" thing happened today.

Gaston, what am i to you? Some doll that doesn't have a brain? You didn't even do much to keep me.

Maybe that's something good.

You are free to do what you want. I'm too old for such things. And i'm old enough to make some decisions by myself.

You are free.

I'm trying to enjoy myself before the month end. It's a norm for me to work really late a few days before and after month end.

There has been lots of things going through my mind these days. What have i achieved in my life? Is getting a degree and job an achievement? What's an achievement? Having a fat paycheck every month? Or is it setting up a family?

I don't want to follow the norm.

Photocredits and design to Shimin.

Back from work and i'm so dead tired. Bought a new lappy over the weekend and i haven't had the time to configure it. Msn is not even installed yet. Using it to blog now though, pretty fast processing speed. Instant reaction from my lappy.

Met up with Shimin, Clemen and Wei Xiang on Monday. I was supposed to meet them 7pm at Paragon. As usual, i was late. It's kind of impossible to leave on time with the workload i have. The three of them were really nice to take a train to suntec city when they realised that i left office at 6.50pm.

Dinner was at Kenny Rogers.




I ordered half a chicken after the bad experience i had in JB. It turns out that chickens across the crossway and here differ about 1.5 times. The portion was huge!


Headed to Helix Bridge for a walk under the stars.






A photo taken by a professsional photographer which captures everything.

Some artpieces taken by Shimin along the way.





An illusion. Hehe.
Till we meet again!

I've always feel that what's running through my mind for the first half an hour after waking up is what my heart is asking me to do. It's void of emotions, just rational thinking. However, I tend to push those thoughts aside and delude myself until the very moment my head touches the pillow. I try all means and ways to justify the reasons for not following my heart.

Right now, I can't come up with any more justifications. I just can't help feeling neglected.

He's just not that into me.

Fullstop or comma? That had me thinking for the whole day.

Drank. I think i need more of this after work. Another day at work tomorrow...

It's the Great Singapore Sale! Woohoo! I'm all prepared for it. The wardrobe is taken care of, so is the shoerack. Dumped close to half of my stuff. I've been spending like a mad person on the days i'm not working.

I'm going to get at least 2 pairs of shoes, 5 tops, 1 pair of jeans and another set of skincare products. Made a promise to myself to dress up more often, slap on some make up when i go to work. The make up set i have is rotting away. Bought a new blusher but ain't got time to use it.

Anyway, I'm considering to take up ACCA in July. I have no idea if this qualification will benefit me in my job but i guess it's better to have a degree and an additional professional qualification to fall on when there's another crisis. (Hopefully my dad will subside half for me.) Singapore isn't offering any course in the industry i am in.

Got to improve on my excel skills too. I used to think that vlookup and pivot table will be enough to deal with the work. Apparently, it isn't so. Linking workbooks is ok, but knowing which formula to use will take me sometime. Using data-mining softwares to convert reports to excel is ok if someone has written the template. But i will be totally lost if there ain't a template.

I really need to learn.

How?

I have no idea why you texted her that. What's the outcome you want from sending her the sms? It doesn't benefit anyone. It's going to make things awkward for me and her the next time we see each other.

Ask yourself why i have told you that.

有時候真覺得自己犯賤。明明知道自己不開心還在拼命地堅持下去。

好想放棄。

Celebrated my birthday with the girls a day earlier because of my working schedule. Somehow this year i don't really feel like celebrating my birthday. Perhaps i can't accept that i'm getting older. Welcome wrinkles, cellulite, flabby arms and thighs and saggy skin. I know who are going to say this to me when i meet them next time. Might as well write it here first.


Had dinner at Ichiban Boshi. A place with nice ambience and of course salmon sashimi.


Some camwhoring.


Drinks after dinner. Guess what? We went to MacDonalds. No alcohol as we are working the next day.


Passed by some comicstrip artworks and Yanru managed to see some stuff that the 3 of us couldn't see. Korean words. Her love for Korea.


Making use of the time to take photos while waiting for cab.

Thank you girls. I'm sure we will continue this tradition for a long time.