VeE

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

我该怎么办。。。{11:49 PM}

It pains me to see my parents growing old. 真的是一时的感触良多。 The clock is ticking too fast for reality to sink in properly. I'm a quarter of a century and my patents are in their fifties. The age which they can forget to turn off the stove, what they have said half an hour ago and all of a sudden I know of all the diseases which I can't pronounce.

My dad has always been my super hero. He is the one who can send me to school almost immediately when I wake up late and the best thing is I can still arrive in school on time. It's like magic. I don't even need to pray and I know that he will be there to help me, giving me all the assistance, be it advices or financial aid.

He is a super hero. Up till now I haven't done anything that made him proud or perhaps I had, but I've lost it. It's still something that I haven't let go. Neither have I made my mum proud. I'm pretty sure of that.

At 25, 我还是一无所有。没名没立。不知道几时才可以回报他们。 My dad has been the sole breadwinner for a wife and three kids. I wonder how this superman does it. It seems almost impossible for me to support myself and the two of them.

我该怎么办。。。

Racing against time.

Signing off. VeE

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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Greatest news ever{5:26 PM}

HELLO EVERYONE!

I'm back! More alive than ever!

I've got a great news to announce! I left my freaking overworked job and I'm more than happy now! Screw the bank!

A note to myself. If one day I ever look back and regret on leaving this bank, please shoot yourself.

1. You have a screaming boss who calls you at least 10 times a day, either by phone when you are just sitting outside her, or shouting your name and expects you to crawl in like a dog.

2. You got to send emails for her when she is the one who is supposed to be doing all that because all the other HODs are already taking the initiative to solve the problem, and she's all passive about it because she's sooooooooooooo afraid of taking responsibilities and just simply dump all the shit to you and screams at you when you are unable to solve the problem because you can't have the authority to make a simple decision.

3. Everything has to go through the empress dowager, including sending emails. You got to print that bloody simple email, let her vet through before sending it out.

4. You got to read her mind.

5. You can only start on your daily work at 6.30pm when she's gone.

6. You can spend a full day inside her office doing nothing productive.

7. You got to stand beside her and see what she's typing on her email and agree to what she's typing even though you are not in charge of that particular assignment.

8. Everything she says is urgent and after you have done it, she takes a week to read through.

9. She expects everyone to give her what she needs and there are requests from the other side, she pushed everything away and you are in a position for all the arrows and knives.

10. You can work until 12am and she don't give a shit.

11. She thinks that you have nothing to do when she's the one giving you all the crisis.

12. She expects you to check 1 mas report, compute 3 mas reports when there's no one else to guide you. A nice one. That's the reason why all the predecessors left. When there are queries from mas, you are in for all the questioning, like why is it done this way. Get bombed when you tell her that it has been done this way for more than 10 years. And you got to agree with her when she says that what has been done in the past might not be correct. I know you have always wanted to walk out of the room when this shit happens. Even worse when you tell her that no one knows how to compute this report and you are getting the information from past data. She says that you can actually check with her but you know that she will raise more problems for you. Always in a dilemma.

13. You always got to find answers for the questions, by yourself. Like asking the whole bank. But luckily, you have a bunch of very helpful colleagues and a very good partner to work with. You are blessed to have such a good partner. And a manager from the other section who looks after you. Some of the colleagues whom you treat as friends.

14. You are working in a building which looks like it will collapse anytime.

15. You got to troubleshoot all your logins and password when you first came in. They gave you a windows 2000 os. Best of all, you set up your own computer (thankfully, you don't have any missing wires), changing the appearing name on your phone and called IT by yourself to set up shared drives. Basically, I feel that this shouldn't be the way. No one took ownership of you.

16. Your direct manager is a perverted bastard who kept messaging you and told you that he's sincere and no strings attached. He wanted to screw you and used the job to threaten you. Anyway, keep in mind that he's just a useless bastard who can't do anything right. You are much stronger than he is. If you ever see him again, curse that he will be run over by a car. Or if you see him with his wife, show the wife the messages. haha. Fucking bastard.

17. So overall, it is a good decision to leave, apart from some of the colleagues that you will really miss. This job sucks.

Don't ever think about the big bucks that you will be earning if you had endured. It's not worth it. You are much happier now. Money can't buy happiness. You need a work life balance. You are not a dog or a sex toy. Screw that job.

You are great.

You are worthy to be appreciated.

You are blessed to have your friends, family and boyfriend to be supporting you all this while when you are a total bitch.

And I'm thankful for that.

Signing off. VeE