Sometimes I feel that my mum is the reason why I love Silver more compared to Coco. Loving the oldest kid most. Deep down inside I know that she loves my youngest sister the most even though her bitchy lips always says that she loves me the most and she spent 4 years alone with me, thus showered more love during that 4 years. So what about the rest of my entire life?

I remember when I was 6, my mum told me to take the public bus to go home from my grandma's place. Insane bitch. I'm so glad that my grandma took the bus with me. It's such an irony that she forced me to go to kindergarten alone when I was 5 or 6. Thank goodness for my grandpa who walked me to school. I remembered I got a little older and asked her why my sister can't go to school alone. She said "your sister is so small sized! She might get kidnapped!" At that tender age I didn't dare to rebuke. But that got me thinking, what about me? I won't get kidnapped? Bitch.

And then on I took the public bus when I go for abacus lessons in primary 2. Things got a little better when I was in primary 5. My dad starting to drive my p1 sister and I to school. Such a bitch right? I'm only entitled to this because my sister enrolled into the same school as I did.

I'm never close to my parents, especially my mum. She's a big fan of spare the rod and spoil the kid. So I was beaten up like mad. In today's terms it's probably called child abuse. Cane buffet. When you hit a kid, you will expect the kid to cry like a siren. That bitch will cane the hell out of me, shake me to ask me to stop crying and forced me to kneel in front of ＂土地公 ＂a god plaque while pulling my ears.

I still get this dreams sometimes. Waking up hating her even more. As a kid, I take in all the small details. That bitch always thinks that she's right. Like bringing a eight year old me to china is useless, because I can't remember anything. I impressed with my memory right down to the plane we had sit. A plane with 2 levels. And she had no idea about that even though my dad affirms it. Bitch! As a kid what else can you do apart from remembering all these?

All the good things I remembered were with my dad. What a mother are you? Seriously, I think your planning, parenting and bitchy mouth of yours really sucks. One day, that mouth of yours will bring you shit.

Different treatment really brings out a different kid. I don't really feel any guilt writing this because I just have to remember the hell pain I went through when I was young and that switch is off.

Just like you said "your mum didn't teach you how to love when you were young". You didn't teach me too. Don't expect the love.

You are definitely not my example.